Horrid, horrid conversation

I am traveling for work. I volunteered for this trip, so I can't complain too much. But, I didn't realize how hard it would be to be away from my baby. I arrived on a Sunday and everywhere I went that day, I heard sweet little child voices. There were kids everywhere and each time I heard a little boy or girl babble to a grownup, it felt like a big tug on my heart strings.
I love to travel, I love to explore new cities, and the one I'm in is great, perfectly suited to my interests and tendencies.
But I must say, I only want to be home with my kid. It seems almost treasonous (sp) to say that but it's true.
As it happens, my in-laws offered to watch my kid at their house this week. TF's job is somewhat unpredictable in terms of when he can come home, so it was nice that they offered. It made his week easier, although it makes me a little uneasy. I have every confidence in my in-laws, but my son can be difficult sometimes and he'll probably wear them out by Friday.
Well, my mother-in-law told my mom about the set-up before I could get a chance to. I tried to get her on the phone before I left, but no luck. She is consumed with volunteer work and busy almost every day. I talked to my Dad before I left, but didn't get her.
I called earlier today but the line was busy.
I tried tonight between the last conference session and the cocktail reception and got her. Big mistake. She was furious with me for not arranging time for her to spend with the kid and said she'd been crying since she found out he was staying with my in-laws.
Now, I must say, my in-laws have known my parents for YEARS. Our mothers were friends long before my husband and I were. Also, my mother in law is one of the easiest people to get along with EVER. She is very flexible, very understanding, and generally a wonderful person.
It was her idea to keep my son at her house this week and I wasn't crazy about it because it was the first time he would be away from home without either one of us.
I could have said no, but I didn't.
Anyway, I figured my mom would call my MIL and pick a day to at least visit the kid if not keep him for a night. Well, she said that it was never presented to her that way and that he was going to be at the in-laws house all week and there were no other options.
At that point, being jet-lagged and generally homesick for my baby, I lost it. I started crying. I miss my baby, my job is frustrating and I was miles from home. Before leaving, I had to pack for me, my kid and my dog because he was going to stay with my cousin (husband doesn't like dog, cousin does).
I had been doing GOTV work that week and my son had been waking up with a bad cough for the last few nights before I left, which meant I got very little sleep.
It is ALWAYS about HER. She said that I had lost faith in her and how could I hurt her so much.
This is what her week looked like:
Sunday - volunteer event
Monday - doctor's appointment
Tuesday - theater tickets
Wednesday - Dad has knee surgery
Thursday - open
Friday - Dad's follow-up appointment
Saturday - volunteer event

I didn't feel comfortable committing her to keeping my son for a certain day nor did I feel I could ask her to drive 3 hours to my house to watch him for a day and then drive back the next day.
Even tonight, she asked me when I wanted her to watch my kid. She said that obviously if I needed her she would cancel everything and come down to help. Well, it wasn't an emergency. My MIL said that she would watch my baby at my house if I wasn't comfortable with her suggestion and I believed her.
Apparently my mom expected me to tell my MIL I didn't want her to watch my son and expected me to assume that she could cancel everything she had going on that week to watch him. This after she has made many (playfully) negative comments about how my son was a handful and hard to watch and nothing like her girls (i have one sister).
He is very strong willed and opinionated, it's true. He wears me out and I'm in my 30s, not my 60s. I know my mom is joking when she makes these remarks, but I still don't like them. It feels like a cut. She makes similar remarks when I make a small mistake, like spilling his milk or putting both legs down the same pant leg when I'm dressing him.
Typing this makes me realize how insane it is to let those comments even register, much less take them seriously. But WHY does she make them? Why? She is extra sensitive about everything and would be similiarly hurt if I made them about something she was doing.
She said she thought I hadn't called because I was avoiding her, when in actuality, I called when she was away at a volunteer event and she didn't call me back.
She admitted that my dad (thank god for him) said that she was overreacting.
At one point in our conversation, she said that we both should have had more faith in each other. I said that I had never lost faith in her and that I had tried to sort things out but felt that she would feel comfortable calling my MIL and making her own arrangements.
OBVIOUSLY NOT. That would assume she was a mature adult. HA! I have been propping her up emotionally for YEARS!
I am so angry with her. How dare she react this way and shove all her insecurities back on me?
Even tonight she wanted me to ask her to cancel her Saturday commitment so she could drive my baby back down to my house on Friday and see me on Saturday. I told her I didn't feel comfortable asking her to cancel her commitment and she had to make that decision herself.
Let me just say that she REGULARLY chooses to spend her weekends pursuing a hobby that no one in the family shares and when anyone protests having to work around this hobby, she gets very offended.
I am the one working full time, taking care of a 2-year-old, and juggling all the home stuff. She is RETIRED! Yet, I still have to make everything convenient for HER and make all the decisions for her.
She did say they would go over to my in-laws' house tomorrow to see him (instead of pouting at home) and that she would see what was best for him. in terms of going to her house or just staying where he was. At least she is rationale about that one small element of this huge mess.
She was actually going to NOT SEE HIM ALL WEEK, because of this ridiculous assumption she made about the situation.
I am so angry, even after this tirade, that it will take me awhile to go to sleep. Can't call my husband because of the time difference. Yuck.
Never doing this again. Ever.